thought this would be easier but on Thursday I realized that it was not.
On Thursday I went in convinced all thinking that would only be a plaque for my house. But my surprise was when I saw there tied under the chin "with espadradapo" (that's the best) and I heard the doctor approached me and said "Now do not move we're going to start taking" At that moment all I came over and could not restrain me out to mourn. I thought the risk was now beginning, which would be in my heart, my lungs, my esophagus (now quite concerned) and while this machine hasCIA a huge noise and I was burning inside, I thought of all evil. Everything had been positive so far I was in seconds.
When the doctor came to untie me and saw me crying mourn me wonder why I said "I cry because I have another fear of cancer as a consequence of the radio, to move and that treatment is going to be another body to me again lymphoma, the question of knowing what will happen in ten years, the side effects ... "When I said all this, looked at me and said Do you think all while you try? To which I replied, yeah, now when I explodedrto, when I lie, I think 24 hours a day. I explained that I should not think about it, that the radiation to healthy organs was minimal. Well, tell that to my esophagus! I thought that side effects appear at 8 or 9 days of treatment that was what I had said, but the second day on Friday came out with a distress unspoilable ... and that was what I was most afraid, afraid to return the agony of chemo. Maybe I myself have been influenced from the beginning, and I myself are composing the MTAD side effects. But I can not help, every time I see you there tied under the chin without any security, I feel so insecure. I do stretch the neck, but there comes a time that it loosens and slacken moencode the position, even if it was millimeters but I think everything bad that I can be doing the treatment.
I'm getting negative phase and I know, and I have to correct my behavior as soon as I can not continue, because it is not good for me , the only thing I get is "shake" at this point, and I can not consentirmelo.
Tomorrow is my turn again this time all week radiotherapy, and what scares me the most is not knowing what will happen to me, not saber that I will have effects, but for now, as always so far I only have to wait.
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